At this point

I keep thinking what is the point. Why do i continually make things i have never made before. Why do i challenge myself so often to make things i have no experience of. Why can i not be satisfied with just doing a bit of same old same old to more easily pay my bills. No i have to some how contort my mind toucher my patients and stress myself out. Why! What am i trying to prove what am i after?
The boat is coming on but each step has yet to be proved until completed, its hard work and i am feel behind schedule for the exhibition, having had time out with flue i now have to catch up all i can over christmas but not feeling like more work. Progress is good to see after stewing in my bed with the flue. Just have to keep focused and not think to hard of the problems and unpracticed process ahead.